Tags
#BCC, #certification, #chaplain, #struggleisreal, #writing, Chaplaincy, clergy, discipleship, membership, opinion, self-discovery, self-interest
A little over five years certainly is not an eternity, but does it ever feel like eternity to the -nth degree. And an eternity of rolling a rock back up a hill at least has the advantage (?) of a physical workout.
After leaving the role of a congregational pastor and pursuing serving as a chaplain, there has been an awareness of the differences and nuances of “pastoral care” and “spiritual care.” However, they are differences that not everyone grasps or wishes to accept/embrace. The role of a chaplain is broader, more varied, than congregational pastoral care. Thus, an entire national organization* of professional chaplains exist (along with parallel/tandem chaplain education organizations) to promote and ensure integrity among those who provide spiritual care in a variety of settings (hospitals, military, incarcerated communities, higher education, corporations, etc.)
To be certain, even in my own direct, first-hand experience, there are practitioners identifying themselves as “chaplains” who have a very different approach and purpose for their work. Rest assured, a professional chaplain should never “preach, teach, convert, or save souls.” That simply isn’t it, but rather something else entirely, but that’s a sidebar topic to address (maybe).
To that end of reassuring care seekers they can feel safe in the spiritual care of a chaplain, the national professional organization has the authority to “certify” chaplains who are able to demonstrate aptitude in a core set of 32 competencies. And by demonstrate, I/they mean explain what a chaplain is and does, and why, in writing. Then, that pile of writing goes to a review panel who then meets with the chaplain to discuss any questions, observations or concerns they (as already-certified chaplains themselves) have about the individual wanna-be-certified chaplain in their midst. The successful interviewees are given the designation of Board Certified Chaplain (BCC). To say it’s not a slam dunk is an understatement.
Since late 2017, upon completing my one year Chaplain Residency, the process of becoming “certified” has loomed before me. It’s a voluntary certification, unless it’s not (some denominations and their subsets require it of those serving as chaplains). It is a definite advantage in finding chaplaincy jobs, particularly within large healthcare institutions and systems. Hospice, not so much.
Since maybe late 2019, at the insistence of my denomination and the encouragement of a few colleagues, I began the process of reviewing the list of competencies and the writing requirements. For 3-1/2 years or so, I’ve been pushing words around on electronic pages in fits and spurts, with no one piece ever seeming to reach completion. I’ve given up in frustration for months at a time. When I return to what I previously wrote, it feels like I don’t know what I was trying to say and would be better of scrapping everything and starting from scratch, or just giving up on certification altogether.
And it’s not just the writing. It’s the whole mental/emotional drama of feeling like, after everything I’ve done and accomplished in getting into ministry over the past 15 years, STILL isn’t enough. It STILL feels like it’s adversarial and antagonistic, despite reassurances the reviewers are there for support, encouragement, and affirmation.
And so, my whole identity, seems one as a modern day Sisyphus, at least in this facet of my life and career. The writing is my rock that I’m pushing up the certification hill. Unlike Sisyphus, I don’t feel I’m directly being punished for what I have or haven’t done in my life. And, it seems, the more I’ve tried to reach out, ask for help/guidance, shared my struggles and concerns, the more I’ve stayed stuck on this hill. Some days I push a little harder on the “rock,” some days I don’t.
Could I give up and just let the “rock” grow thick with moss? Sure, I suppose that’s an option that Sisyphus didn’t have.
IF (and that’s a tall order right now) I manage to get the “rock” over the top of the hill (also never an option for Sisyphus) and actually get “certified,” will I feel more accomplished and satisfied? Somehow, I doubt it.
I suppose, instead of writing this, I could have spent the time and creative energy trying to move the “rock” further up the hill, but…here we are.
* There is currently more than one national certifying organization, but “industry consensus seems to tend toward only recognizing ONE organization, often referred to as the “gold standard.”